i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you win again, gameday.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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