So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
