what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize