am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
time to smoke my breakfast
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
