Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize