I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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