wrigley field is MILF paradise
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
