Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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