Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm gonna fight the coyote
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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