easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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