return my video game
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
