i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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