I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
