I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
