Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
