I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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