i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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