i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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