ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
