Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
