If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
