You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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