big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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