You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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