id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
