You can't motorboat a personality
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize