dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
