theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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