I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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