Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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