Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
