four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
