I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
