epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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