Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
