Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
