I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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