Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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