Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
