Is it normal to miss your booty call?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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