her vagine was all disorganized.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
two words: eviction party
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
