Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
