I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
