girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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