In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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