I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
