That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think your dad took our porno
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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