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Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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