Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
