4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
