i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
