My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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